The beauty of Spring?

Well I keep saying that I am going to quit this, but I find writing releases my soul of its pains. I was looking forward to spring break and the wonderful smells of spring, plus the sights of nature renewing itself. But no, my first day of spring I had to put down my cat Kato. Kato was a character and very appropriately named. If you are a Peter Sellers fan, you would know about Kato attacking the Inspector at the most inopportune times. Kato was a very aggressive male cat. I have some serious scars from him. He would hide under the bed and attack your feet and sometimes draw blood. Leslie wouldn't take it very well. Little did she know that I was feeding the cat special treats after every successful attack on her. lol Kato was the fifth cat in less than three years that we have had die or disappeared on us. Now that I think about it, I have never since 1977 had a cat live more than three years under my care. Damn I feel like I am the commander of Dachau and instead of killing Jews, I kill cats.

Kittens are the best that nature has to offer. They make you laugh for hours on end and nothing is better than the feeling you have when a kitten is sitting on you purring. While I shouldn't get another cat--I will get one this week from the animal shelter. They have to put so many down, at least it will have a chance to live and be care for. I guess to be loved for a day, is better than being in a cage for a short lifetime. So wish the cat I choose luck.

It has been a year now since coach Cal and I camped out together at the Fort Smith park. Wish we could be back out on the lake catching some of those big fish again. He was a great guy and I miss him and his stories. Instead, I am sitting here and watching a "Walk to Remember" and enjoying being alone to deal with life issues. Peace to you!

Not divine inspiration? revised version

Had to revise this one. When I wrote this I didn't know they had been drinking, so what I wrote would be in poor taste--funny, but in poor taste. The boys are doing well and I am happy for that. I could comment about their actions, but I would be a great hypocrite to say anything.

A few weeks ago during the singing time at church, I got this idea to do a video for a study guide. Now the fact that I was at church, you would think---Hey! This is Divine Inspiration, it must be good. But No, it must have been the devil working on me....considering all the feedback and negative responses I got back from many adults. You will be happy to know that I had a priest perform an exorcism and I am back on the path to righteousness as we speak. I will, however, take up the offer that a parent sent with their child to come have a drink with him. Sorry Jesus-- I am backsliding already. I actually had written a long discourse talking about my infamous video, but something more important has come up.

While writing this, I found out that two of my former students were in a bad vehicle accident last night. Corey Payne and Guy Brandt were the two involved in the accident. Corey is in very bad shape and will be fighting for his life over the next couple of weeks. Guy is hurt, but not critically. I had Corey for two years in class. The one time with him I remember the best was when we were in Little Rock for the EAST competition. I was up in the boys' rooms, playing cards, Corey whips out this huge knife to do something. I don't remember why he got the knife out, but I took it away from him and chew him out pretty good. I gave it to his mom when we got back. Guy, on the other hand, was just a very quiet person and I just don't remember much about what went on with him. We never had any conflicts that I remembered, so he must have been a brilliant student.

Please think about these two students and another, James Dewitt. If you got good contacts with the Almighty, then then pray for a lot of healing.

Holiday thoughts........

As you know..I am not particularly religous. I go to church--a Baptist one at that--just because the family goes there and I like listening to Doug, the pastor. What I dislike the most is the 30-40 minutes of getting up and down to sing. Since I have no singing talent, it is a waste of my time and I am sure that God  appreciates my silence during the singing. Now and then I might sing a song I like--Amazing Grace---Holy--Holy---Holy, or whatever moves me.

I do however love Christmas songs and movies. It would not be unusal for me to play the Judd's Christmas Ablum in July on my Ipod. "It's a Wonderful life and The Bell's of Saint Mary's are some my favorite movies.

I didn't feel much of the old Christmas spirit at school this year and maybe for many a year.  It is a shame that our government, which is really us, has taken the Christmas out of the schools and government.  I am not sure how that benefits society.  The Atheist that compromise only 5 to 9 percent of the population, with the help of our courts and their interpretation of the our constitution have taken Christmas and more importantly, the instilling of the Christmas ideal away from our children.  How is a celebration of a child, that later as an adult, only taught the very basics of love, kindness, forgiveness that all humans should treat each other with, a problem? There is no historical question that Jesus existed, so as the atheist believe that there is no God, and that is a possibility, what logical problem can they have with Jesus.  

I wonder what kind of conversation goes on in an atheist's home?  "Dad I just happen to read about Jesus today and he seemed like a great person, maybe there is some truth in what he says".  "Son..quit reading that crap, do you want to become like those right winged Christians you see on the Fox news network?.  "Your right dad, want to come watch South Park with me?, I hope you will get me the video series for my eighth birthday".  The only true problem with Christianity itself, is and always will be,  the behavior of the "Christians" that claim to follow it.  

Can you change this path were going down?  No, because we don't care enough, we have our little houses, plenty of food, drive our silly little cars and live in our own narcissistic world and the hell with anything else.  However, if we did care enough we could change it with our votes.  We could remove the majority of the whores that sit in our congress and vote based on the money they receive from the lobbyist, instead of the needs of the people.  Put new ones in there and tell them what we want, put back prayer in the school, ten commandments on our walls, and fix whatever else that ails us.  I, and not we the people, would also make sure that we are open to all religions and not shut them out because they are not the majority today.  I would enjoy celebrating Jewish, Islamic holidays and going to their plays.  I would tell the atheist we respect their views, but this is a democracy and you're out voted so live with it...... and Merry Christmas!!!

To my many loyal followers-one?  Merry Christmas  

Love   Mike

"If that don't beat all"

My Uncle Bill passed away yesterday afternoon.  I have dreaded that moment for a long time and I was hoping that I could expire first...but no such luck.  I could write a book about the time I spent with him, my aunt Sadie and their children.  I will try to give the short version...

In the summer of 1972 I was dropped off at my uncle's farm while my mom and brother when ahead to Kansas City to where my dad was being stationed after coming back from Viet-Nam.  I don't know why I was left there, but I am sure it had to do with my behavior.  I had a tough year at school, managed to get kick out of my English class for most of the year and the local Fire Chief came by the house with a few questions. I was a nice person that enjoyed a little mischief. Well I don't think it was  mischief.....the word would be felonies and misdemeanors, that had I got caught I would have spent much of my life in prison for, if I did them as an adult.  To add to that, I had an horrific personal calamity happen to me that I will never fully recover from.  So you can image I was a pretty screwed up teen...ok.... no comments about me not changing.

I of course had never been on a farm before and like any 16 year old, there was nothing I couldn't do as well or better than anyone else.  My poor uncle had no idea that he was getting a destructive force the made Katrina sound like a summer breeze.  I am sure that it was only through their prayers that the farm survived the financial havoc that I caused.  On the other hand I was good entertainment that brought a little spice to their lives.  The stories are legend.

I have read recently that it is not the bad things that happen to a person that defines a them, but how they respond to those bad things that makes the difference.  I realize that I am not a good responder, but my uncle was the best.

One day after I had been there a month or so, I went down to get the red C55 dump-truck at the dairy and come back to pick up my uncle at the house.  Well wanting to be on time and show how quick I could drive I raced around the dairy until their was a tremendous boom and a sudden stop of the truck.  I had forgotten the risers were on the truck to hold more silage.  I had no clue what I hit so when I got out to check what was going on,  I saw half the riser missing and a six foot section of the brand new milk barn, their pride and joy, destroyed.  I was sick to my stomach and I did not want to go pick up my uncle.  But I did, fearing the worst.  As I pulled up I could see him surveying my work.  He gets in and says nothing for about two minutes--I am dying.  He says" you hit the trees, didn't you?"  My response was a shaky "No sir",  He ponder a while and then said "you hit the gas tank?"....."No Sir"(I had already taking that out with the front loader on the tractor.)   About two minutes later he finally asked "What did you hit?"   I replied "The milk barn"  I expected a lot of yelling, maybe a smack or two, maybe you should go home, but I got a "If that don't beat all" and nothing else.  This was beyond anything I had experience in my life--I wanted to cuss my self out and then inflict a little pain.  The day wasn't over.  When you cut silage you drive along side the tractor as it is throwing the stuff into the truck.  Well I must have been daydreaming because the next thing I knew I hit the tractor with the rear of the truck and drove the handle that opened the back, straight into the back tire of the tractor.  My uncle stopped opened the door to the cab of the tractor, look at the tire, got back into the tractor and stared straight ahead.  An eternity to me and only two minutes for him, he got out of the tractor and got in next to me and said "we got to go get a new tire".   That tire cost several hundreds of dollars, but nothing was said.  

He yelled at me only once that I remember.  I had decided that it would be quicker to straddle a PTO shaft that was running at full speed to get to the other side.  I heard all kinds of screaming as my uncle was racing to shut off the PTO.  He raised his voice and told me never to do that again and how easy that it could have grabbed my clothes and killed me.

I did manage to make him cuss once.  I had taken up dipping Skoal, like my cousin.  Well my cousin and I were sitting in the cab of the dump truck waiting on my uncle's instructions.   I didn't see him coming up next to us, I turned and spit a huge amount of juice right in his face,  He said a quiet but firm"Ahhh Shhhiiitttt" and walked off---don't remember how long it took him to come back.

He always responded calmly to any disaster or misadventure I was involved in.  It must have made his sons a little jealous because he wasn't so calm with them.  But he somehow knew what I needed as a human and forever changed my life.  I have no doubt that I would be either locked up or dead now, if it wasn't for that stay on the farm.  Believe it or not he let me spend another summer on the farm after I got out of the Marines.  

He was a good Baptist, but never used religion to straighten me out.  He saved me just the same and it took hold.  I really can't image my world without him being around, it is going to be a lot lonelier place.  Good-bye Uncle Bill, thanks for everything.   

Good news only!!

I feel like I have been writing obituaries for the last year on this blog. So on this one I will write only about good things that are happening. The biggest of the good news is Savannah is doing great!! According to her mom she only has two little spots of cancer left and the rest is gone. You can thank whomever you like--but a special thank-you to the doctors that have discovered this miracle. It is good to know that I will be seeing her for a long time and can continue to have our conversations now and then. I know I can learn a lot from her and her experiences.



Two of my nieces have had babies. My niece out east had twins and they are doing fine. My other niece, Crystal, finally had a girl.

I have watched the sunrise the last couple of days and it always leaves me in awe. I just want to stop time and aging to live forever in that moment. Well there you are--a positive post from me.

Deep down??

This is a reply to my comment section--and I appreciate the comments.  

Gee--I am only a good person DEEP DOWN...So is that saying that I am not a nice person on the surface?  I find that to be interesting and insightful for me... I will think about it.  Sad if that is true though.  I don't know if I am being difficult for the sake of being difficult---I just get bored and like to throw things out there to see peoples' reaction.  It also helps me understand them better and it lets me know if we have an unconditional relationship or not.  And sometimes it is just an impulsive response to something I see and should probably keep in my mind and not out my mouth.  

Gee II--I never said Lillie was funny or funny looking.  What I said was she made me laugh.. What I should have said was she makes me laugh inside.  Some other people do that for me--Jessica Ramirez, James Dewitt, Lori Starr, Tanner Wilson, that Skaggs' girl from last year.  

As I had stated previously, I have been "saved" a few times.  I have just decided that there is not just one path to God or heaven--if they exist.  I do not fear God.  I find it a little incredible that people fear an all loving and compassionate God....  Many prominent theologians believe that there is no Hell--that separation from God is hell.  I will accept whatever God decides and it doesn't matter to me, what that is.  I have been to hell here many times and I don't think it can get that much worse.  Besides what kind of Perfect Loving Being is going to torture someone for eternity for not believing in that being?  Hey I'll take my chances!!  I'll finish my writings on my religious philosophy this year and you can read it when I get it published mid next year.  Of course there may be only two copies since that is all that I can afford.

Sorrow and Joy.......

This morning my Aunt Armelda passed on.  I remember her best for sending me birthday cards...when the rest of my family sent nothing or didn't call--I would get one from her.  I never heard her say a bad thing about anyone in the entire time I have known her.  She had two children that were born with multiple problem that has required life long surgeries.  I guess most people would call them short people.  But to me they are the people I think about when someone uses the word hero.  Although they had stubs for fingers, they both learned to play the piano and well.  Both have gotten their college degrees and then some.  Although they could be bitter about their draw in life--they are upbeat and have wonderful personalities  It took a wonderful person to raise my cousins to have such great self esteem and I will miss her greatly.  I am sad because I surely will not see her again in this life or the next.....I don't think we are going in the same direction and that is the way it should be.

The other night I got to sit and talk to Savannah Dutton for a while.  It looks like she is doing well and her cancers are all going away.   Last spring I didn't expect her to live through the summer.  I actually don't believe that God interferes with ones life in one way or another.....but who knows, if good stuff like this happens, maybe there is intervention from a higher source...gosh I might have to get saved again.  It was a wonderful conversation and I could tell she has grown a lot...she was actually sweet to me...

Once last comment about the last blog---I heard comments about how I was "mean" about my comment about Lillie.  I guess I live in a world that I really don't belong....Reminds me of an Outer Limits episode where it starts  out by saying "there are people that live among you, that look like you, act like you, talk like you, but are not one of you."  That is how I feel.  One of the nicest comments I could make about someone is that they make me laugh.  In this life there are not many that do that for me.  So I guess I should go build my little house on Walden Pond and ponder about the many thing I think about.